What's up with fashion for fluffy girls?

I know that my blog usually focuses on altered art or the accomplishments of friends... and I'm going to acknowledge to you now that I've been mysteriously absent for awhile (ok, ok, TWO years... but I have been constructively engaged and obtained my Masters degree in Business Administration with a 4.0 gpa ([insert self-congratulatory pat on the back here]). During that time I have discontinued my magazine subscriptions, discontinued riding, discontinued reading for pleasure, let my gardens go to seed, said au 'voir to international travel... you get the idea. My husband and son were fortunate... I kept them. :)

Having said all that, I would like to ask that in the few times I purchased fashion magazines to quickly flip through in my rare moments of spare time, WHAT IS UP WITH FASHION FOR WOMEN WHO ARE not built like a clothes hanger? We all know women like this - people like my beautiful friend Brenda - built like a wire clothes hanger - who was born to drape designer clothes on and looks fabulous in a feed sack as long as she has a pair of six inch Christian Louboutins on (and she can afford them). And then we have those designers who deign to make XL clothes... in you know a whopping size 10, for women who are built like a sturdy wooden clothes hangers meant to hang vintage minks on.

Really designers? A 10 is as big as you can stand to see your clothes so that they maintain your visionary integrity? Give me a break. Does it occur to you that women who wear a size 10 blouse probably actually have busts bigger than 30" (I mean, after all we're not talking about her bra size here... we're actually talking about the part of her bust that protrudes... the actual part that *requires* a bra?) And while I certainly don't wear a size 10 blouse, let's just address those designers that really live on the edge and make their XL blouses for GIANT women [insert sarcasm]... who wear a 14-16 blouse. Women who wear a 14-16 blouse do not have busts that are 38-40 inches. So while I can get these blouses on I can button them to precisely - you guessed it - right beneath where my bra starts and then I have a glorious 8 inch gap. While this would probably do if I worked in other, better paying professions, I can hardly artfully cover that with a scarf, a pin, or one of your equally poorly proportioned jackets on a job search. Before I'm accused of having implants, I will share that these are my small bubbies... the ones I had surgically reduced because my God-given EEEs were so large that no one but Seattle Tent and Awning could make a blouse that fit me.

During my studies in the last two years, I had to conduct an in-depth research paper comparing two women's clothing retail giants and the reasons they were struggling in today's global market. The average American woman, at the time I did my research, was 5'4" tall, ranged between 140 - 165 lbs, and wore a size 14. None of these describe me, but my search for fashion as I attempt to reenter the workforce being a busty, tall girl, who falls in between sizes makes me want to rip my hair out. I am definitely price-conscious (after all I haven't worked in two years), I am fashion conscious (who doesn't want to look their best), and I always fall in between misses and plus sizes depending how the manufacturer cuts their clothes (really is standard sizing among one label too much to ask??). Anyway, I know this post is getting long but let me just end it by saying to anyone who is listening... and to designers in particular... NO ONE looks good in 6 yards of loosely flowing fabric that you call a blouse/tunic/dress, not even my aforementioned friend Brenda who was blessed with the genes of a Whippet and the non-seeing eyes of a Saint when she assumes I wear sizes similar to hears.

I am fed-up with designers and manufacturers thinking that the answer to larger fashions is to drown women in flowing cover ups or dress them in clothing only appropriate for club-going attire. (Some of us, alas, are past our club-going days or are at least past the days when we thought it was appropriate to wear club-going attire to the office!). I have CANCELLED the many fashion magazines I received that continuously posted photo spreads of fashion outfits put together for this and that occasion that when I went to seek out those items on-line they were sold out - a season or two ago. Who pays these people? Oh that's right, we do.

We are all built differently. Some of us are apples, some of us are pears, some of us are rectangles (that's me... not a curve to me - you hourglass girls are blessed!). All of us want to look the very best we can with what we have to work with. There are clothes out there for all of us... what we do not look good is 30 yards of $1,000 polyester spandex mix from a very expensive department store. Tip of the Day: If it makes the model look fat ladies, it won't do you any favors either. :)

On the Hunt for Fashion,

Misti Rose

Create A Vintage Valentine Party & NYC Here I Come!

The Queens From Faraway Lands gathered at my home to create a vintage Valentine for the ones their hearts desired! A great time was had by all and some lovely Valentine cards were created. I thought I would take a second to post an image of the one I created for the one I love. My husband is a career firefighter, raises and trains rope horses, and in his spare time enjoys being in the outdoors. I thought he would enjoy this vintage Valentine.


The Valentine features an antique image of a red stag that I colored with water color pencils applied to cardstock in a soft forest green color. I highlighted the "horns" (he always sighs and tells me they are *antlers*) with German glitter, and antiqued the paper the stag was on with Ranger ink pads. The heart behind the stag started out as a white paper doily but I embossed it with black to make it more "manly." :) On the left of the Valentine are peacock feathers tied with a silver lame bow and on the right are some leaves I had from some silk roses that had come loose that I sugared with German glitter and applied to the card with E-6000 adhesive. In the center of the card is an old paper tag that I had that I hand lettered to read "Oh my deer! Please say you "wood" be my Valentine!" The back of the Valentine is lined with a photocopy of blank antique sheet music on which I hand lettered a personal message to the one my heart desires. Voila! A very personal, masculine Valentine, for the one I love!

Things have been very busy here. I leave this Saturday for New York City, having been invited to attend the Westminster Kennel Club dog show with my friend Linda McCutcheon who owns the Number One AKC and All Systems Lhasa Apso in the United States, Champion Rushmar's Charmer. With limited showing, this beautiful little Lhasa has firmly held on to the Number One title from March, 2008, until present - an amazing fete.

Linda has been breeding Lhasas for 20 years but this is a prestigious invitation for her since only 5 Lhasa Apsos in the United States are invited to the Madison Square Gardens to participate in the annual Westminster Kennel Club dog show. "Buzz," as her beautiful little dog is lovingly called, shows on Monday, February 9th. Please join me in crossing your fingers for Linda, Linda's Handler Lois DeMere's and Champion Rushmar's Charmer as they exhibit against the very best Lhasas from around the world. You may visit Linda's dogs on her website at http://www.rushmarlhasas.com/.

In the meantime, I hope everyone is filled with the Valentine spirit and is looking forward to finding that perfect Valentine gift for the one they love (even if that someone is their self... because we all know girls that if we don't love ourselves first then we can't truly love anyone else!).

Au 'voir for now,

~Misti Rose

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year... All that Jazz!

Well it's been AGES since I've posted. I've had two computers melt down, purchased a new one that had to be returned, and had a custom one built since my last blog post. I've had an un-birthday, we've celebrated Christmas, and even had a Happy New Year!

Today I was going to catch up with all of my old friends, provide some witty quips about all that has been going on in the world and marvel you with pictures of the holidays; however, I've learned that a blogging friend has had a tragedy in her family and I'm afraid that my witticism (a masterful blend of sarcasm and wit ... NOT the Webster definition of the word I assure you!) has abandoned me.

The dining room was decorated and awaiting guests. My son-in-law kindly donated his trophy deer to stand watch during the holiday season. He didn't even wince when I draped him in Christmas greenery, lights, and white roses. Thank you Jacob, I love you!

I have tales to share... but that shall be for another day.

And so, an Au 'voir for now.

~Misti Rose

"Why Larry... That is art."

Ok, I usually don't cut and past my posts to the Paper Imagery Designs Yahoo list that I am a member of. I try to spare y'all the insanity that I subject them to. After all, they know and love me ... many of you have yet to acquire the same type of tolerance for my ramblings that they have. However, I just can't pass up sharing a "Here's your sign" moment I had today. :-) Larry, darling, if you're secretly a member of the ATCing, mixed media, altered art community... take this in the good spirit with which it is written... we love ya baby! lol

I sat at the computer last night watching the list mail, putting old Somerset magazines for sale on Ebay, and designing the envelope I was mailing my bookmark (that should have been an ATC) in to Kim. (I do so love run-on sentences... this is what speaking foreign languages does for you... I know better but if the Germans and the Russians can do it ... lands of castles and enchantment... well then... count me in!)

Anywho ... I have this absolutely fantabulous envelope. It's backstamped with French sayings, there is a quite large PID image of some brat with wings that I hand colored with some new things that Melissa insisted I needed from Michaels. The brat with wings got a dunce hat cut from some French ephemera I had on hand which I glued a contrasting typewriter key ampersand on just for kicks. Then to top it all off, I cut Kim's name and address out in typewriter key alphabet letters and numbers one at a time and glued them to the envelope. With me so far?

Absolutely smashing -I was proud of myself and thought she would be surprised and enjoy getting it as well as the bookmark. I put it in the mail at the office this morning. Larry, our farmer who pretends he's a mailman (remember we have no uniforms or cute mail trucks) comes in this morning, picks up the mail and shouts at the top of his lungs "What is this?" I walk up front and said (using my best Brenda from The Closer voice ... because this is how I deal with all Okie "Here's Your Sign" intelligence these days) "Why Larry ... it's an envelope."

Larry looked at me, blinked, and said "I've never seen anything like this." I looked back at him and said, "Why Larry ...can't you read it?" [Referring, to the typewriter key lettering - not his education.] I politely ask, in my best affected southern drawl, "Will the Post Office not mail it?" Pointing to the envelope I say, "Right there it says Gettysburg." He stared back at me and said "Well ... I guess so ... it has a zip code on it ... I've just never seen anything like it." He turned it over about three times gaping at it.

I just smiled at poor confuzzled Larry and said "Well Larry ...it's art. If you have any problems over at the post office you just let me know, ok?", batted my eyes, and returned to my desk in the back.

Kim may not be getting her envelope.

I hope everyone is having a great day.
::: In my best Brenda from The Closer voice::: Thank you! Thank y'all! Come again!
~ Misti

My Haul at Michael's and The True Treasure of The Day

Melissa, Creative Genius and Fairy Godmother of Coupons at Paper Imagery Designs, recently posted a coupon that saved everyone 40% off every item purchased at Michael's. Braving a nearly 200 mile round trip to Oklahoma City and severe weather, I stocked up on the following:

1. 10 Rolls of Pink Ribbon - I wrap everything I mail, sell, send, gift, etc., in white paper and pink ribbon. :) It's my Misti Rose signature.
2. 2 cans of "Ballet Slipper" Pink Satin Indoor/Outdoor Krylon Spray Paint and 2 Cans of Folk Art Pearl Glaze Spray Paint. I'm making a very special chandelier ... out of one I bought at a junk store. I'll post pictures to my blog when I finish it. I promise it will be over the top tacky when I'm done! lol
3. The "Old World" Stack of Papers ... I have no papers - I hand paint everything or use backgrounds from rugs out of my antique magazines.
4. The K & Company "Margo" Stack of Papers.
5. Glitter Glue in Black, Silver, Light Pink, Lighter Pink, Fuschia, Copper, Gold, Green and Red (I know how to use this... yay!)
6. 9mm jump rings, 7mm jump rings, crimp beads, crimp covers, Sterling lever back earring findings, split rings (yes I NEED to start making jewelry :::makes gagging noise at the thought of WORKING:::).
7. A BIG BITE Crop A Dile ... no idea how to use this but Elena said I needed one so VOILA I got one!
8. 23 loose sheets of the most beautiful papers... some from velvet, some that are stitched, some from handmade paper, some are vellum... all are very cool. I can't imagine ever cutting them but they are inspirational! :)
9. These cute little glass jars that say Got Flowers? by Fabric Fancies. Yes, I have flowers! I have Black flowers, I have Red flowers, I have Teal flowers, I have Silver flowers and I have ... yes ... PINK flowers! No IDEA what to do with them but they're really super cute so I will just start gluing them to everything... can't go wrong!
10. I now own SOBO glue - which I have been assured by Melissa, Melanie, AND Melinda is the very best ever. ;)
11. I have a Carte Postale rubber stamp and a little tiny alphabet by Image Tree stamps. I think I prefer the see-through acrylic stamps... since I believe I'd like to be able to see what I'm doing; however, these rubber stamps were lovely and I couldn't resist.
12. Brads... Brads with crystals (sparklies... yay!), Brads with snowflakes (Christmas... yay!), and Brads that look like old rusty stuff (antiques... yay!). No idea what to do with it. Blaming this on Elena as well... thought I needed something to stick in the holes the Crop O Dile made. Besides, if you're a member of PID you know EVERYTHING IS ELENA'S FAULT. ;)
13. Tim Holtz stuff: Adirondack Alcohol Blending Solution. Alcohol Ink Applicator. Alcohol Ink Applicator Felt (2 Packages). Alcohol Ink Packages: Cottage Path, Gold & Silver, Farmers Market, Pearl & Copper, and Cabin Cupboard. I also bought the following Distress Inks: Walnut Stain, Antique Linen, Tea Dye, Fired Brick, and Weathered Wood. I have no idea how to use any of that! The good news is I went to Amazon.Com last night and ordered both of his DVDs. lol
14. Staedtler Water Color Crayons.
15. InkaDinkaDoo Blending Chalks.
16. A bunch of beads for... jewelry making. :P
17. Somehow I got an embossing pad and inker... lol and no embossing powders. Oh well I'd been there about 5 hours at that point!

Ok so that's all cool and great but the ultra uber cool thing I got was this amazing to DIE FOR chandelier I found at this antique store after we got done at Michaels ... we had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory ... OH MY GAWD ... two glasses of wine (for me... Bobby drinks sweet iced tea like any good southwestern Oklahoman), steak Diane, CHEESE CAKE, a trip through Macy's.

THEN we went antiquing ... three stores in to it and all I'm seeing is stores with junk and reproductions mixed in. I can't tell you how furious this makes me as a girl who knows her antiques and refuses to pay book (another gripe of mine... this ain't New York sweetheart... we do NOT pay BOOK for our antiques... what ARE these people thinking! They want to sell me reproductions, act like they're antiques, and then try to charge me book on top of it? Not on their sweet little ol' life!) Anyway, I ramble!

We get to store number three, my darling husband does not complain... ever... even this late in the day. This store is so big it has got to cover at least 1/4 of a city block. Back in the depths of the store I see this chandelier covered with AB prisms and the tackiest... erm... most beautiful fretwork and I am in love. IN LOVE. My exhorbitant but oh so delightful 100 mile trip to Michael's is forgotten. The chandelier is hanging on a chain from the top of a 20' ceiling, it is unlit, and you can not see the price tag.

I beg Bobby to climb up there and check it out to see how much it is because on a BIG PINK STICKY (Angie, darling, I thought of you!) it says 50% off! Bobby refuses because he will not climb on someone's dining room set they have for sale to see how much that chandelier is. Well of course, I have no such qualms. I just march my delicate flower self over to the neighboring booth and grab that chair from the 70s they're trying to sell for the same price as something from France in the 1800s and climb right on up there and see that the chandelier is marked down from $500 to $250.

Well then, of course, I need that chandelier plugged in to see if it will work! Bobby absolutely refuses! I swear! Is he not a firefighter with 20 years of practice climbing up and down 120' ladders on the swaying bouncing back of a bucket truck?! Yes he is! I plant my hands on my hips and inform him he needs to get up there and plug that chandelier in to that extension cord so that I can see it lit up in all of its glory. He will not do it... it does not belong to him and he is not climbing on someone else's stuff without asking. Gosh I hate people with principles! They're such a pain in the butt sometimes!! I had to actually go find the lady who was working at the store and ask her to come and get an extension chord and a ladder and plug in the chandelier. Absolutely a hoot because she looks at Bobby and says "Well I just got new bi-focals yesterday and I can't climb up there... can you do it?" lol

When I get my new treasure all cleaned up I will post a picture of it on my blog! When it is plugged in the AB crystals cast the prettiest shade of pink. I have a beautiful chandelier over my bed that I thought would be hard to beat but this one is destined to be hung in my office over my desk and I think it is going to top them all!

Best Wishes to Everyone ... Please be Surviving the Weather,
~Misti

Bribery... is it Ethical?

I have decided that the blogs I am immediately drawn to are the ones filled with beautiful pictures. (This of course does not include the blogs belonging to people I know... I'm drawn to those because of the bits and pieces of what is important to them are posted - beautiful word images of their lives even if there isn't a single photo posted.) SO I digress... we all know this if you read my blog. When I have the time to randomly search the blog world for people who create altered art, those blogs that I immediately stop and OOOH and AAAHHH over like a small child at the Fourth of July show put on by the largest Army post you've ever come across, would be the ones in which the photo images seem to have been taken by the folks at Somerset.

Now, I can write a story with the best of them. I can tell you tales of pirates meeting beneath the seas and having a mermaid ball. I can describe the feel of antique silk taken from the hem of the ball gown worn by a French maiden during the 1800s ... explaining to my reader that the only reason I have it is because it snagged on my great great grandmother's iron staircase as said maiden fled down the steps to escape the revolution because her Great Aunt was Mme. Marie (yes that Marie!) and my GG Grandmother ran to retrieve said scrap of silk just before her Chateau was burned to the ground by the revolutionaries! (Those bastar... erm... jerks!!)

What I can NOT seem to do is take a decent photograph to SAVE MY LIFE. Not from the pirates and not from those chateau burning, silk gown snagging, head lopping, cake eating revolutionaries!

So, do you think it would be ethical of me to say ... send my artwork to someone to have it photographed if I would just be willing to give it to them so that I could have beautiful photographs too? Would that be bribery? (Am I starting to sound like I'm whining? Because let me tell ya... I'm whining!!!) My mother always said fair exchange is no robbery! I really have to get this whole photo thing figured out. I'm trying to balance this against the fact that the holiday season is coming up and I really REALLY need to be making jewelry to sell instead of playing with paper. :S

I hope everyone is really looking forward to fall. Summer is almost over in Oklahoma and that means it's almost time for me to get to go back outside. I can't wait!

Best wishes,
Misti

Artwork and Horrific Pictures

I've been merrily "art working" my way along with the ladies at the PID group (Paper Imagery Designs is having a great sale, by the way). Each week I try to take beautiful photos to post to the image database... and each week I fail miserably. There is glare from the flash, the photos are fuzzy, I can't get close enough for the details to show up, I'm too close... you get the idea.

Imagine my surprise as I'm reading along through the digest of daily group posts and I see someone refer to SCANNING their artwork. :::thud!::: You can scan paper?! Who would have guessed! lol Consider me knowledge enhanced. I swore that next week I would scan my challenge piece and have something lovely to post to the photo database... Consider my dismay when someone came up with the great idea of having an inchies cube swap. Another masterful plan down the tubes. Granted, this is not the challenge of the week but I'm now sitting here trying to figure out exactly how I'm going to fit my inchies cube in to the scanner. It doesn't look good...

Anyway, I'm posting a photo of one of my Misti Rose original bracelets today. Unique bracelets are always available for sale at www.MistiRose.com and custom orders are welcome.

I hope everyone is surviving the heat, rain and hurricanes!

~Misti