Saturday, September 17, 2011

What's up with fashion for fluffy girls?

I know that my blog usually focuses on altered art or the accomplishments of friends... and I'm going to acknowledge to you now that I've been mysteriously absent for awhile (ok, ok, TWO years... but I have been constructively engaged and obtained my Masters degree in Business Administration with a 4.0 gpa ([insert self-congratulatory pat on the back here]). During that time I have discontinued my magazine subscriptions, discontinued riding, discontinued reading for pleasure, let my gardens go to seed, said au 'voir to international travel... you get the idea. My husband and son were fortunate... I kept them. :)

Having said all that, I would like to ask that in the few times I purchased fashion magazines to quickly flip through in my rare moments of spare time, WHAT IS UP WITH FASHION FOR WOMEN WHO ARE not built like a clothes hanger? We all know women like this - people like my beautiful friend Brenda - built like a wire clothes hanger - who was born to drape designer clothes on and looks fabulous in a feed sack as long as she has a pair of six inch Christian Louboutins on (and she can afford them). And then we have those designers who deign to make XL clothes... in you know a whopping size 10, for women who are built like a sturdy wooden clothes hangers meant to hang vintage minks on.

Really designers? A 10 is as big as you can stand to see your clothes so that they maintain your visionary integrity? Give me a break. Does it occur to you that women who wear a size 10 blouse probably actually have busts bigger than 30" (I mean, after all we're not talking about her bra size here... we're actually talking about the part of her bust that protrudes... the actual part that *requires* a bra?) And while I certainly don't wear a size 10 blouse, let's just address those designers that really live on the edge and make their XL blouses for GIANT women [insert sarcasm]... who wear a 14-16 blouse. Women who wear a 14-16 blouse do not have busts that are 38-40 inches. So while I can get these blouses on I can button them to precisely - you guessed it - right beneath where my bra starts and then I have a glorious 8 inch gap. While this would probably do if I worked in other, better paying professions, I can hardly artfully cover that with a scarf, a pin, or one of your equally poorly proportioned jackets on a job search. Before I'm accused of having implants, I will share that these are my small bubbies... the ones I had surgically reduced because my God-given EEEs were so large that no one but Seattle Tent and Awning could make a blouse that fit me.

During my studies in the last two years, I had to conduct an in-depth research paper comparing two women's clothing retail giants and the reasons they were struggling in today's global market. The average American woman, at the time I did my research, was 5'4" tall, ranged between 140 - 165 lbs, and wore a size 14. None of these describe me, but my search for fashion as I attempt to reenter the workforce being a busty, tall girl, who falls in between sizes makes me want to rip my hair out. I am definitely price-conscious (after all I haven't worked in two years), I am fashion conscious (who doesn't want to look their best), and I always fall in between misses and plus sizes depending how the manufacturer cuts their clothes (really is standard sizing among one label too much to ask??). Anyway, I know this post is getting long but let me just end it by saying to anyone who is listening... and to designers in particular... NO ONE looks good in 6 yards of loosely flowing fabric that you call a blouse/tunic/dress, not even my aforementioned friend Brenda who was blessed with the genes of a Whippet and the non-seeing eyes of a Saint when she assumes I wear sizes similar to hears.

I am fed-up with designers and manufacturers thinking that the answer to larger fashions is to drown women in flowing cover ups or dress them in clothing only appropriate for club-going attire. (Some of us, alas, are past our club-going days or are at least past the days when we thought it was appropriate to wear club-going attire to the office!). I have CANCELLED the many fashion magazines I received that continuously posted photo spreads of fashion outfits put together for this and that occasion that when I went to seek out those items on-line they were sold out - a season or two ago. Who pays these people? Oh that's right, we do.

We are all built differently. Some of us are apples, some of us are pears, some of us are rectangles (that's me... not a curve to me - you hourglass girls are blessed!). All of us want to look the very best we can with what we have to work with. There are clothes out there for all of us... what we do not look good is 30 yards of $1,000 polyester spandex mix from a very expensive department store. Tip of the Day: If it makes the model look fat ladies, it won't do you any favors either. :)

On the Hunt for Fashion,
Misti Rose


ShellyRaeWood said...

Hey Girl,
LONG time no see! :) Glad you were being productive! BIG congrats on the Masters. I am uber proud of you! :::smiles:::

I hear 'ya on the larger size fashions. While I don't have the bra size issue I surely how the vertically challenged issue. I hate that all shirts are so long you look awful no matter how well they fit. I do not need half of my body covered in your stretchy, clingy material! I actually have a waist and would like to see it! :)

If you want to see what I have been doing check out my new business, ARTful Salvage. I'm on FB, and Etsy and here's the blog:

Anywho, just saying hi! Shelly

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